I thought it was a good time for a little update on what is going on, and what the next steps on our journey are going to be (for me and Cheyenne that is).
Well, I am going home. To the homeland of my heart and soul. I have no idea if it will all work out, and I am taking many leaps of faith in doing this, but I think it’s for the first time in my life I am truly following my heart and soul, and putting my thinking in the back seat. As a helper instead of a leader.
I have been saying lots of goodbyes lately, to my old life, my old ways, my marriage, my stuff, some friends, family, pets and more. I’ve been doing things this year that were all “options” on my list for living and being in this world. I now know I do want a place I can call my “own”, a safe haven to return to after work, travels, anything. I have been traveling and housesitting, and now know that this is not what resonates with me. Or Cheyenne. Not really. It’s nice to discover new places and all, but it is a very restless life, and I do long for some peace and quiet. Especially life in a (big) city is no option for us.
I also realised that actually what I have been asking for has been and is being delivered. I didn’t always notice it consciously, but it did happen. All the things on my options lists. My need for downsizing and not “owning” anything anymore. I have discovered I can live with very little possessions. I still need some money, for living and eating, but I don’t strive to become wealthy in the monetary or material sense anymore. It creates a lot of room for other things.
So, I am ready to take the next step. The big move. To another country. Letting go of all that I know. I am feeling a mixture of nauseating fear (also because of rules and regulations and Brexit) and huge excitement. Whenever I say I am going to live in the UK, my heart skips a beat and I feel butterflies in my stomach. I have to build up a new life there, and new friendships, new connections. I do intend to go back to the Netherlands every now and then, but for now I have to start building up. I really hope it will all work out, and that my gut feeling of that it will once I am there (home) is not just wishful thinking.
I am also following the opportunities presented to me, through human angels, through signs and signals. I have been given the opportunity to do this, I don’t have many ties with my “old” life anymore, no work, no house, no marriage. Friends and family will be the hardest part, but I am just across the North Sea and with the digital age a lot is possible in staying connected. And I have a place to start from in the UK, where someone is willing to receive me and Cheyenne as their guests of honour. And for now I can still stay registered in The Netherlands, whilst I figure everything out in the UK.
I have been pondering a lot about my dreams and desires, my life purpose and more. And I did realise that moving to the UK has been a big part of my dreams for a very long time, but I always let logic hold me back. Or fear of losing control and securities. But the older I get, I know that certainly those securities are often false. And losing control? Why not lose control every now and then and follow my heart and soul? I do believe that if this is meant to be, if this is part of my path, it will all work out. I will do whatever it takes to make this part of the dream come true, but I will not force anything. Above all I want to stay in the flow. The closer I get to my moving date (next Thursday) the more calm I feel internally. Even though it is not a small thing to do. Maybe coming home is about that feeling. That feeling of calm. A deep sense of inner peace. It doesn’t mean it will never storm again, it will never be chaos again, but underneath I will have this inner peace that will guide me through any kind of storm.
With my upcoming move I also feel very inspired and motivated to start (re-)creating things again. I do hope I can generate enough income through self-employment and writing, but if needed I will additionally get a part-time job. I handed in the manuscript for my first book recently, now it’s editing and designing time. If everything goes as planned it will be published somewhere around March/April next year. It’s strange handing in something so personal that will be published for the whole world to read. But I feel I needed to do this. To get out of my own way and know that if my life story so far will help only one soul it will all have been worth it.
Some of the things I am thinking of (re-)creating: bringing back some form of animal communication with pets, writing more books, either officially published or self-published. Books on my life as an animal communicator, the story of our old three doggies, about my travels to the UK, my move to the UK. Creating my own oracle card set(s). Creating guided meditations and meditation-journeys, even offering personalised ones. Bringing Shamanism into my work. Creating things together with others, like I did with the Healing Circle. Doing offline, real life things like nature-medicine walks, “silent” be-treats and more. I am figuring all this out along the way, but most of all create things from a place of love and joy, because I feel I want to create these things. Not because I have to, or others feel I need to. With money as side-effect instead of the major drive behind my creations.
So, exciting times. I can’t wait for the next part of my journey to unfold.
Diana and Cheyenne