Speaking my truths

Speaking my truths

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Or rather in my case, writing it!

I have so many unfinished blogs right now, all started them when I felt inspired, but when I started writing them, doubt entered my system and didn’t finish them.

Why didn’t I finish them? Because they are about things that can bring up much discussion (money, relationships, religion, animal rights, economy). I even started one with a disclaimer, that these are my thoughts and ideas, my visions. They are my current truths, they are not THE truth.

But, all I hope to achieve with my writing, about anything really, is to inspire, maybe wake up some of those cells in your body, get you thinking and feeling. See things from a different perspective.

But, I have been conditioned not to speak up (or write about it). Not speaking my truth. Because it is too judgmental, and I could hurt other people’s feelings.

So, I backed down. In writing and sharing what I felt I needed to share. I felt called to share.

But when I think about the blogs I love to read myself, I really like the ones that trigger me. That gets me thinking. That shake up what I considered to be “true”. That makes me look at things in a different way. Make me feel a little uncomfortable. Because then I know it has hit a nerve with me. They are pushing me out of my comfort zone.

Or a blog that tears me up, or makes me smile. Everything that wakes up any kind of feeling or thought within me.

It’s so easy to write sugar coated blogs, that everyone can relate to, and just keeps nodding too. But do they really make an impact? Do they create change? I think not.

It’s those that dare to write (or speak!) in a little more provocative way that are the changemakers. They are the ones that make people see certain things in a different light, shake up your system. They are the ones that get you out of your status quo.

And then, real change can start happening. It can spread like wildfire. Much like Oprah’s speech at the Golden Globes. Much like anything Trump says. Really, you may not like him, or you might, but he does create change, one way or the other. He is waking a lot of people up.

When I get reactions to what I write, or say, I often take it personal. Or should I start writing this in the past tense? I used to take it personal. Because, like many others, I above all want to be liked and loved. We are social beings and want to belong.

But, to be honest, the real changemakers? You either love them or hate them, there is not something like oh they are ok. Will you remember their blog, book or speech in a day? A month? A year? Probably not.

I’ve tried to fit in and be average for a long time. So afraid of hurting other people’s feelings, of getting judged (and hurt) myself.

You see, most of the time when I write about something, I don’t think of anyone in particular. It’s more the situation I have an opinion about, life, the system. It’s those that I want to address. That I feel need change.

I know I have some radical ideas and visions, and I have been holding back with those for so long, being afraid of rejection and found crazy. Maybe some past life stuff is also stuck in there. Speaking up against the established order, the people in power, often got you killed. It’s not that long ago, and it still happens in some parts of the world.

But, when we keep silent, especially those who have different ideas about life, like me, nothing will ever change. And no matter what is of interest to you, personal, people, animals, environment, politics, I think we do agree something needs to change on many levels. I no longer want to be silent. It’s like there is something about to explode within, these words and feelings have been piling up, and the volcano is about to explode.

I know I am not a scientist, I am not an expert on anything really. The things that I want,  no need, to share, just come to me. When I am in silence, when I am in observing mode.

I am however a brilliant and creative thinker, an amazing feeler and observer. I have a strong connection to the natural world and worlds not visible to the naked eye. I do feel I “know” stuff, that I hold visions.

When I see discussions online, or in real life, two parties just defending their “truths” and nobody jumping in to give an alternative I often feel like jumping in. I do believe this “fighting” and being very disrespectful to others in discussion, comes from our condition that everything should be a competition and you have to fight for everything. But that’s for another blog. Again, I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist of any kind. I don’t have any special degrees. But I do know how to observe, how not to react, and form my own opinion, and get epiphanies out of nowhere. Maybe it is because I don’t follow the rules, I never have. Maybe it is because I am brave enough to explore other options (soon also executing lots of those in real life!). I don’t know. It doesn’t need a reason or explanation really. It is just something I feel I need to do.

It is about time I start sharing my truths, my ideas, my opinions. And be perfectly ok with sharing them. And not take any comment on them personal.

So, more coming soon! Very soon ?

Much love,

Diana

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